in which I spoke to parenting guru Michael Grose to get his no-nonsense advice!
{IF YOU MISSED PART 1 ~ CLICK HERE... PART 2 ~ CLICK HERE... HERE for PART 3... HERE for PART 4 & HERE for PART 5}
{IF YOU MISSED PART 1 ~ CLICK HERE... PART 2 ~ CLICK HERE... HERE for PART 3... HERE for PART 4 & HERE for PART 5}
Here's the last {of 6} key elements he believes will help you to raise happy, confident, well-behaved children…
6. PROVIDE A SAFE AND CONSISTENT ENVIROMENT
“Consistency is an essential element in our relationship with our children because it puts them in control. Children love their parents to be consistent as they’re able to predict how they’ll act,” says Grose.
“It’s important to be consistent in all areas of parenting including regular mealtimes, bedtimes and reactions to behaviour as this enables them to grow and reassures them that someone is there for them.”
“Children also like limits and boundaries as they provide them with structure and teach them how they should behave,” he says. “Of course children also like to push parental boundaries so parents need to resist the pressure that children can exert upon them. This is a normal but irritating expression of a child’s push for independence and autonomy.”
“Consistency also means not parenting on a whim and following through and doing as we say,” he says. “It means not giving children second and third chances. It also means not allowing children to get away with misbehaviour two or three times then coming down hard the fourth time they misbehave.” “Remember consistency prevents misbehaviour from escalating.
We help children develop self-discipline, which is our aim, when we are consistent and do as we say we will – every time.”
how to be consistent with your kids…
* Focus on priority behaviours. It’s difficult to be consistent with every single wrong doing so focus on one or two. When you’re consistent and follow through with priority behaviours it has a positive effect on other behaviour.
* Remind yourself about the behaviour you want to follow up. Leave a note somewhere telling yourself that you need to “Walk away when they whine. Don’t give in.”
* Check your routines. Do you have routines for troublesome times of the day such as bedtime or mealtimes?
* Act rather than over talking or repeating yourself. Sometimes a consequence can be inconvenient in the short-term but long term, it pays off with children who are better behaved.
“Consistency is an essential element in our relationship with our children because it puts them in control. Children love their parents to be consistent as they’re able to predict how they’ll act,” says Grose.
“It’s important to be consistent in all areas of parenting including regular mealtimes, bedtimes and reactions to behaviour as this enables them to grow and reassures them that someone is there for them.”
“Children also like limits and boundaries as they provide them with structure and teach them how they should behave,” he says. “Of course children also like to push parental boundaries so parents need to resist the pressure that children can exert upon them. This is a normal but irritating expression of a child’s push for independence and autonomy.”
“Consistency also means not parenting on a whim and following through and doing as we say,” he says. “It means not giving children second and third chances. It also means not allowing children to get away with misbehaviour two or three times then coming down hard the fourth time they misbehave.” “Remember consistency prevents misbehaviour from escalating.
We help children develop self-discipline, which is our aim, when we are consistent and do as we say we will – every time.”
how to be consistent with your kids…
* Focus on priority behaviours. It’s difficult to be consistent with every single wrong doing so focus on one or two. When you’re consistent and follow through with priority behaviours it has a positive effect on other behaviour.
* Remind yourself about the behaviour you want to follow up. Leave a note somewhere telling yourself that you need to “Walk away when they whine. Don’t give in.”
* Check your routines. Do you have routines for troublesome times of the day such as bedtime or mealtimes?
* Act rather than over talking or repeating yourself. Sometimes a consequence can be inconvenient in the short-term but long term, it pays off with children who are better behaved.
{Michael Grose is one of Australia’s most popular writers and speakers on parenting and family matters. He’s written six books, including the best-selling Why First Borns Rule The World And Last Borns Want To Change It ~ and he educates both parents and teachers around the world on how to raise happy, well-adjusted kids and resilient teenagers ~ check out his blog HERE}
{Pic: Fred Bare}
{Pic: Fred Bare}
